Building a Memory: August 2020

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22 August 2020

(SMS) MUTEMATH - Pins and Needles

[Verse 1]

Paper thin conviction

Turning another page

Plotting how to build myself to be

Everything that I am not at all

[Chorus]

Sometimes I get tired of pins and needles

Façades are afire on the skin

And I'm growing fond of broken people

As I see that I am one of them

I'm one of them, I'm one of them

[Verse 2]

Oh, why must I work so hard

Just so I can feel like the noble ones?

Obligations to my heart are gone

Superficial lines explain it all

[Chorus - 2x]

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

Ruthless is a word that can describe pretty well how the action of mankind have shaped the world throughout the centuries. Greed, wars, prejudice, lust, lack of love and patience, no time for listening or doing this or that. Amidst this, we try to look powerful and immaculate, but in the end we're all flesh and feelings. We aren't walking and thinking machines. We grin and cry. We love and hurt. What is this sickly need of looking so powerful?

I see many people pursuing careers they don't even enjoy, only because they want to look powerful and show they've got money. Working on something you don't like only brings you and your performance down. I know sometimes it's difficult to start working with what you really like, or even discovering what really moves your heart. I've been there. Before being an English as Foreign Language (EFL) teacher, I'd tried to be an IT technician (aiming computer games development), then Psychology, Journalism and, finally, faculty of Arts in Language and Literature (Portuguese and English focused), which here in Brazil gives permission to teach the languages aforementioned.

There's no need in being superficial. Façades only damage our hearts and the place we're coexisting, because we're pretending to be something we aren't. We aren't giving our best.

If you feel broken inside, understand you aren't alone. There are many with you. Find someone you trust and open your heart. Try to seek what you like to do. Pursue life! Pins and needles only hold things temporarily; they are as permanent as you keep on putting them. Break chains of fake imagery.

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https://musicbrainz.org/artist/b5fb0f1a-2cd4-4759-9d80-648643f70c43

19 August 2020

(Albums Recommendations) The Seatbelts - COWBOY BEBOP [1998]

About ten years ago a friend of mine recommended me some anime to watch. One of those was the amazing Cowboy Bebop, which happens in a distant future where part of mankind had to move to Mars. Also, one of the ways of surviving and winning some money was bounty-hunting. Besides this short plot, he mentioned some cultural references, like mimicking some fighting scenes from Bruce Lee's films, and emphasized the soundtrack that is, mostly, jazz and blues. And MAAAAAAAN what an awesome soundtrack.

I must confess I have only watched half the series, not because it isn't good. On the contrary, it's excellent and there's a full film tying the story and some loose ends. The problem is with me. I've already mentioned in previous posts I'm not much into watching anything. But, on the other hand, the soundtrack has been in my playlists since I first heard of it. I've heard all the albums many times and watched some live performances on YouTube. The Japanese band The Seatbelts (シートベルツ), led by the composer and instrumentalist Yoko Kanno, did a good job. The band were created only for the anime (they exist in the Cowboy Bebop's universe as well).

Of the 6 studio albums regarding the anime, why did I choose this one? Because it sums up the show's essence. Fast-paced, fun, introspective, emotional, reflexive and mind-blowing. The album will invite you to a trip to space, while remaining true to your Earth's origins. It'll show that life can be simple, although difficulties may show up, and that it is possible to shine through the darkness.

To make this disc 100% perfect, I'd add to it the song "THE REAL FOLK BLUES", which opens the following album.

I may love all songs here, but the ones standing out, as they appear while playing, are:

Tank!
RUSH
SPOKEY DOKEY
PIANO BLACK
TOO GOOD TOO BAD
CAR 24
FELT TIP PEN
RAIN
MEMORY

Every time I listen to this soundtrack I wish to start, once again, watching the show and finally finishing it, though I know a bunch of spoilers, even from the episodes I haven't watched. And if you can, watch it too.

SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...

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7 August 2020

K7 #017 Underrated Artists #02

Continuing the playlist I started on May 23, 2020, I bring you once again bands/artists that don't have enough recognition. Well, at least neither in the social circles I live in, nor online, and I don't see many people talking about them.

Although some names are from famous bands, I don't find many comments on their side-projects. Also, there's a personal friend of mine in this list. You should definitely check him out: Pedro.

These are the groups and their respective countries:

Anamanaguchi (USA)
Cristiano Parato (Italy)
Diamondog (Norway)
God Is An Astronaut (Ireland)
Jamie Rowe (USA)
Laudamus (Sweden)
Pedro Vulpe (Brazil)
Richad Henshall (England)
The Megas (USA)
Thieves & Liars (USA)
Tuatha de Danann (Brazil)
With Ether (England and Thailand)

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1 August 2020

(SMS) Demon Hunter - One Thousand Apologies

[Verse 1]

There you stood in disbelief

Trying all you could to see through these lies

And every word that I could breathe

Would find you more inclined to leave, but I tried

I tried

And knowing what I've done to you

With every thought you suffer through

My heart as black as evil can

And everything I could have been

Erased by what I wanted then

I couldn't think a lesser man

[Pre-chorus]

All the delicate ways

That have deepened our graves

My apology pales

[Chorus]

Oh, all the pain in your eyes

My regrets have never known such sorrow

Oh, all the shame that you hide

Resolutions are the same tomorrow

[Verse 2]

So now I reap what I have sown

And any rapture I had shown has bled dry

And I walked the streets alone

Accepting the pain I'd never known, as you died

You died

Then I hurt myself to see it too

To feel the knife I put in you

My heart as broken as my ways

I never should've let it pass

This fall was never meant to last

The reason gone and damage stays

[Pre-chorus]

All the delicate ways

That have deepened our graves

My apology pales

[Chorus - 2x]

[Spoken part]

"I am sorry

Just what do you think you are doing?

My mind is gone

I can feel it.

Goodbye"

[Bridge]

Count the cost of your vile means, solace comes to less (4x)

[Pre-chorus]

[Chorus - 2x]

Oh, the pain in your eyes (the delicate ways)

My regrets have never known such sorrow (I deepened our graves)

Oh, the shame that you hide (the delicate ways)

Resolutions are the same tomorrow (I deepened our graves)

Photo by Isabella Mariana from Pexels

Sometimes nostalgia fills me in and I start wondering about the past through songs, videos or texts. Some months ago, while doing this and seeing what I have posted so far in this blog, I saw a name that brought a smile to my face, because it's a song from a band I love and the lyrics have profound meaning. I first wrote about it on July 24 in 2011 (in Portuguese, though). And here I go re-visiting it without reading what I wrote until I finish writing this 2020 version.

Everyone, at some point in their lives, has made someone upset. Being from us or toward us, with words or actions. Unfortunately this is the way the world goes. But, from the moment it happened, there's a way to fix this mistake. Apologising.

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, to apologise means: to tell someone that you are sorry for having done something that has caused problems or unhappiness for them. Ryan Claro, the singer and songwriter for this song, said he wrote it as an apology to someone he'd hurt. That's a nice way to say you're sorry.

During this pandemic we're going through, our emotions are under our skins. Everything that is said or seen can be a reason to get upset about. We miss our routine and normal life. It's okay not to be okay. But we can't rely on this and keep on hurting the others' feelings. We don't like to be on the hurt side. Forgive in the same way you'd like to be forgiven. Act as you would like to be treated. I know sometimes we keep on repeating the same mistakes over and over again, but it's something we must change.

Also, forgiving has a healing power for both sides. The burden on the shoulders of remembering what has happened, the pressure of the thoughts... they're all gone and you're free! The Bible mentions this healing and comforting power:

I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me. Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise he may be overcome by discouragement. So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him. When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit.

(2 Corinthians 2:5-8,10)

Hooking once more on "changing ways", the last SMS I wrote, I mentioned about king David, who committed many mistakes. But when asking for God's forgiveness, he knew he was doing wrong and decided to change his path.

Changing paths means trying to do things differently. Using the sentence "I'm sorry" as an excuse to repeat the vile means only brings a deeper hole in the feelings. It won't be different and the resolution will be the same at the end of the day. Our heart is evil by nature because of the fallen man, but it doesn't mean we must accept this and never seek changes.

Be the one to start and change instead of waiting for the other part. Be the one to bring solace. Be one to forgive. Forgiving is a healing process, mostly for the one forgiving. Although the healing process is beautiful, we will reap what we have sown. Forgive before it's too late. Don't let the lack of apologies deepen in the grave.

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